


Sastiel Prompts

by Shuufleur



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-08-20 02:50:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8233501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shuufleur/pseuds/Shuufleur
Summary: Collection of Sastiel prompts I wrote.Tags are general. For more information, look up each prompt.





	1. Bird

**Author's Note:**

> I'm reposting all the Sastiel prompts I wrote while I was on tumblr in a nice little bundle.  
> All the necessary tags will be posted in the notes of each prompts.
> 
> If you want me to write prompts, you're welcome to ask me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Blue footed Booby". 
> 
> Cas finds a bird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags: Established Sastiel, fluff, bit of flirting, Dean finding out about Sam & Cas.

Sam was reading a book on mystical creatures when Castiel popped in. Dean had left to buy food just a few minutes before so Sam was alone and wasn’t expecting the angel to come by. Castiel told them he was going to California to do some angel stuff.

“Sam,” Castiel said, rushed. He seemed worried.

Sam frowned and turned toward the angel. He opened his mouth but stopped as he saw what Castiel carried in his arms.

“What is this?” Sam asked, gesturing toward the animal. It looked a bird but with their lives, you never what it could be.

“It is a bird, Sam,” Castiel sighed as if Sam was an idiot if he did not know that.

“Okay.”

What was he doing with this bird, anyway? Did Dean dared him to steal it? Sam hoped Castiel didn’t steal that bird.

“No, Sam, Dean didn’t tell me to do anything.”

Sam looked at the angel, surprised and a bit hurt.

“Wait, Cas, you can read my mind?” Sam asked, frowning.

Castiel sighed again and walked to Sam, the bird still in his arms.

“I don’t need to read your mind, Sam. You…” Castiel stopped as if he was searching for his words. Which never happened. Not with Sam, at least.

“You’re projecting. Ever since, we…”

Castiel blushed, actually blushed. Sam gaped at this unseen display of such emotion from the angel.

Castiel cleared his throat, and continued, “Ever since, we became closer, we established a… a bond.”

Sam smirked and leaned against the back of the chair he was sitting on.

“Oh, really? I thought Dean was the one with the profound bond?” Sam said, cheekily.

Castiel rolled his eyes and didn’t even answer Sam’s stupid question. Sam bit his tongue to smother a laugh. Castiel has really picked up habits and mannerism from them.

Sam stood up and stepped toward Castiel.

“So, what kind of bird is that?” Sam asked, seeing Castiel wouldn’t start the conversation again.

“It’s a Blue-footed Booby,” Cas started to explain. “They usually live on the west coast, in California. These birds are known for their blue feet as you can see. The males use theirs to impress females during the mating season. They have an elaborate foot dance, hoping a female would be attracted to them. The male is also smaller than the female. I…”

Sam laughed and said, “Ok, ok, I understand, it’s a bird that lives in California. So, why did you bring it here?”

Sam smirked, “Is it a subtle way to tell me to dance for you, hm?”

Sam was close to Castiel’s face when the rumble of the Impala was heard. Castiel straightened and shoved the bird into Sam’s arms.

“Be careful, he has a broken wing. I’ll come back, promise.”

Castiel kissed Sam quickly and popped out just as Dean entered the motel room. Sam was still surprised by the sudden departure of Cas.

“Dude, where did you get a bird? I swear Sammy, we won’t keep it. You shouldn't take up strays, you know that right?” Dean said like Sam was a child.

“It’s not mine, it’s Cas’s. Said the bird broke his wing.”

“Sure, Sammy. Say it’s Cas’s fault,” Dean smirked while putting the grocery bag on the small table. “Come on, eat. It’s going to be cold. And, god, Sammy, put the bird somewhere else. I don’t want it to eat my burger.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he won’t. He does have a survival instinct.”

Dean scowled at him and started to eat his burger, chewing loudly just to annoy Sam, who glared at him.

Sam took care of the bird while Dean openly mocked him. But Sam knew that Dean liked the bird, even though he would never admit.

The next time, Castiel came by, a few days had passed. Dean was away to get gas and Sam was packing stuff to leave first thing in the morning. Castiel chose that moment to appear in the room unannounced. Sam briefly closed his eyes, the only sign that Castiel took him by surprise.

“Where have you been?” Sam asked.

“Saving the Blue-footed Boobies from a predator.” Castiel stated, all serious.

“Sure,” Sam replied, a little bemused.

Silence fell as Sam continued packing. He saw Cas looking around, then looking at him, eyes dark with want. Sam smiled and turned slowly towards the angel.

“Do you want something, Cas?” Sam asked, dropping his voice. Cas looked at him from head to toe and walked to him.

“I think you promised me a dance.”

Sam smirked, grabbed Castiel’s tie and pulled toward him.

“Oh, yeah. What do you wanna see?” Sam enticed. Castiel smiled and pushed Sam onto the bed, straddling him.

**

Dean got out of the impala whistling. He looked at the motel room and saw Sam was still awake. Juggling with the keys, he walked up to the door. He was going to enter the room when a small thing flew past him. He grabbed his gun and aimed at the thing, ready to shoot it if it tried to attack him.

When he walked towards, Dean realized it was the blue bird. He frowned and holstered his gun, crouching to call the little guy.

“Hey, birdie, come on. Come on.”

The bird stubbornly didn’t move. That was Sam alright. Dean rolled his eyes and crawled closer, calling the bird.

“Come on. I don’t know how to call you. I thought you liked me. Come on. Come with me. I’m gonna give you food. And it’s warmer inside. Come on, birdie.”

Dean sighed. He stood up and walked slowly to the bird. He counted to three and jumped on the poor animal. Dean let a cry of victory once he securely grabbed the bird. He walked back to the door and opened it.

“Hey Sammy, why’s the little guy outside? I thought you were supposed to…” Dean stopped abruptly.

“Oh, god, Dean. Wait,” Sam panicked. “Close your eyes Dean. Please.”

“You don’t have to beg me dude,” Dean complained. “Hurry up so that I can clean my eyes with bleach.”

Dean heard Sam whispering to Cas – the freaking angel – and soon after he heard the usual wings fluttering meaning that Castiel left.

“Can I open my eyes, now?”

“Yeah, you can.”

Dean opened his eyes to see Sam putting on a t-shirt. Sam had his guilty face on. Dean rolled his eyes, closed the door and put the bird on the ground. The Booby ruffled his feathers and started clean them.

“So,” Dean started. “You and Cas, hm?”

Sam cleared his throat, passing a hand in his hair, “Yeah. Me and Cas.”

“It’s problematic, dude,” Dean said and Sam looked at him, worry and panic swelling in his eyes. He bit his lips and started to say something.

“No, no,” Dean interrupted, “not that you’re screwing, which is totally weird by the way, it’s like seeing my brothers fucking.” Dean made a disgusted sound. “Anyway. It’s not about that. You’re both adult and all, you do whatever you want. Like you can do Cas.”

Sam send him a glare, making Dean laugh.

“Anyway. My problem is,” he continued, “I don’t know who to threaten. You or Cas? Both? I mean, it’d be like ‘you hurt my baby bro and I’ll send you back to crazyland’ and ‘you hurt my angel and you wish you were facing a ghoul of me.”

Sam made a bitchface and responded, “How about you do nothing. As you said, we’re both adults. And I can defend myself. So is Cas.”

Dean nodded.

“You happy?” He asked because it was very important.

“Yes,” was Sam’s simple answer.

“Good, good.”

There was an awkward silence and,

“So. That’s why you like the bird. He’s got wings. Like Cas.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Cas’s not a bird, Dean.”

“He’s got wings,” Dean protested.

“Jerk,” Sam stated.

“Bitch,” Dean answered, smirking.


	2. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Criminal!Sam and Cas!Cop"
> 
> He was smiling. The police sirens got closer.
> 
> "I love you." Castiel murmured.  
> Sam continued to smile.  
> "Yeah, I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags: Killer!Sam, Cas!Cop, blood, death of someone, angst

Sam looked up. Cas had arrived. Slowly, Sam unclenched his hands around the neck he had been choking. He inhaled deeply and stood up. Cas was looking at him as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Sam wanted to look down, he didn’t like to see the disappointment in Cas’ eyes.

"Oh, Sam." Cas whispered.

He took a step toward Sam but stopped, as if he was afraid Sam might be dangerous to him. He wanted to smile: he would never hurt Cas. Not physically, anyway. After what he’s done, Sam wasn’t sure of that anymore.

Cas resumed his walk and raised a hand. Sam flinched involuntarily. He thought Cas might hit him. Castiel looked at him surprised, and hurt, and Sam looked down.

This wasn’t going well.

"Sam. Look at me."

Sam stared at Cas. His hand touched his cheek. Sam closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.

"I’m sorry, Cas."

"I know."

Sam felt Castiel’s breath on his jaw. Then, Cas seemed to be rubbing something off on Sam’s face with a tissue.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked, opening his eyes and still wondering why Cas was here with him and not with the cops.

"I’m removing the blood."

Police sirens rang.

"They’re coming." Sam said, his voice breaking.

"Take my hand Sam."

Sam was going to but his bloodied hands stopped him. He glanced at Cas’s hands and saw the clean and smooth skin. He looked at his, and all he could see was all the blood, all the murders he committed. His hands were dirty; he couldn’t touch Cas with these hands. He couldn’t do that to him.

 _But he already did, he already stained Cas with his touch_ , a gloating voice whispered in his mind.

"There’s blood." Sam commented child-like. He didn’t know what to do.

"It’s okay, Sam. Just take my hand." Cas said, comforting. He lifted his right hand, palm up, inviting. Sam took a deep breath and gripped Cas’s hand tightly. If some of the blood touched his hand, he didn’t let Sam know. He was smiling. The police sirens got closer.

"Sam. It’s time." Cas warned. Sam nodded, and watched his lover take out his handcuffs. He held them, waiting. Sam gulped and turned around. Even though Cas was careful when he closed them on Sam’s wrists, he couldn’t help but flinch.

Cas turned him around to face him. He could hear footsteps and voices coming their way. Sam knew this would be the last time they would see each other. He needed to know.

"Cas, you know why I did that?" Sam asked, fearing Cas might not have understood why he killed them.

"Yes." Cas whispered. "Yes, Sam, I know."

Tears welled up in Cas’ eyes. He grabbed Sam’s shirt and pulled him down to kiss him hard. Sam closed his eyes, and tears fell on his cheeks. They broke apart and stared at each other.

"I’m sorry, Sam."

"It’s your job." Sam denied, with a sad smile.

Cas frowned, jaw clenched.

"I love you." Castiel murmured.

Sam continued to smile.

"Yeah, I know."

Cas took a deep breath and pushed Sam away. He gripped his arm as they waited for Cas’s colleagues to arrive. Just before Castiel’s captain took Sam in custody himself, Sam turned his head toward Cas and whispered in his ears, “I love you too.”

The captain pulled Sam forward. He couldn’t look at Cas. Not now, not even tomorrow. His courage was fleeting. If he saw Cas this last time, he wouldn’t have the courage to stay. He wouldn’t have the courage to pay for his faults.


	3. Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam had a long time crush on Castiel, Dean's best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags: getting together, High School AU
> 
> Some parts were completely rewritten. It's not awesome, but it's better and good enough.

Dean’s party was supposed to start very soon. Sam couldn’t wait for it. It had been a long time coming. Thei parents were out of town so Dean decided he was going to throw a party. He basically invited all of his close friends, including Castiel.

Castiel – Cas for short – was Dean’s best friend and Sam’s crush. The teenager admired Castiel for many things. He was Dean’s age but seemed wiser and had a calming presence. Which was a nice change from Dean’s eagerness. If Dean could hear him right now, he would tease him mercilessly.

Anyway. Sam didn’t actually care about what his brother would think. What was important to note here was that Castiel would come to the party.

To Sam, the older boy was mysterious, he always looked at you like you had his undivided attention. Dean would say that he had a creepy stare, but Sam… oh Sam would say that it was an intense and hypnotizing stare.

Well, ok, he could admit it; he was quite smitten with Cas. How can you not? Castiel liked to read as much as Sam – it was weird that Dean could appreciate it though. He knew so many things. He knew how to fight, and could totally beat his brother – and when it happened, because it **did** , Sam was the first to mock Dean. He learned and spoke many languages, knew the history and culture behind it. He traveled a lot, met so many different people.

Also, he was quite easy on the eyes too which was a bonus and provided many wet dreams to Sam.

That was the reason why Sam asked that Cas come to the party. He wanted to ask the boy out. Dean seemed a bit weirded out that Sam insisted on Cas’s presence tonight. He looked a bit reluctant but he relented in the end. Castiel was still his best friend.

A bout of anxiety hit Sam. Maybe he shouldn’t ask Cas out. Maybe he should just… be a friend. Sam could only see Cas at school which really sucked, but when they met, Cas hardly talk to him sometimes. Maybe because of the little brother syndrome. Maybe, he’d say no because Sam was four years younger and Dean’s brother.

That sucked.

Well, it was ok, Sam guessed. He liked Dean's other friends. He liked Charlie, she was fun and knew a lot about nerd culture. And there was Anna who was nice enough, but a bit cold towards Sam. Benny was all right, even though Sam was always a bit distrustful of him. He and Dean went on those trips, doing dangerous and sometimes illegal thing. Sam had to cover for him. Not only that but he was worried about Dean. Then, there was Garth. Garth was an acquired taste like Uncle Bobby would say. Sam had found him really irritating in the beginning, but now he could say he appreciated the other boy.

“Hey, Sammy,” Dean said as he knocked to his door. “The guests’ll be here, meaning Cas too. So, I hope you found what to wear. Don't forget to put your make-up – you'd want to get all dressed up to the nines for Cas.”

“Shut up Dean,” Sam replied, rolling his eyes. “Go somewhere else.”

Dean laughed but left anyway.

His brother was an idiot. An idiot who was right. With a sigh, Sam looked at the clothes he chose carefully for this evening. Sue him, he had a crush.

A few minutes later, the bell rang. Sam’s heart hammered with nervousness. He sighed with relief and annoyance when he saw it was Garth and Charlie. Sam came down and chatted with them while Dean stayed in the kitchen, getting out what he had cooked for his guests. Dean only cooked for special occasions, such as Sam’s birthday or his friends coming over. He never bothered otherwise.

An hour later, everyone had arrived but Cas. Sam's mood started to drop. Not even Charlie and her jokes, or Dean and his teasing could get Sam to cheer up. Thirty minutes later, Sam decided to go to his room. He said goodbye to everyone and went upstairs. He saw Dean throw him a look, but Sam ignored it.

Once In his room, Sam put on his headphones to cut out noises from the party and opened a book.

He wasn't moping all right? Maybe Cas had something else planned. Maybe Cas couldn't come eventually. He was Dean's friend, so it shouldn't be that important to Sam if Castiel came or not.

And yet, he was still disappointed.

He didn't how much time passed when a hand on his shoulder startled him. Sam scowled, removing his headphones. He was going to tell Dean off but he stopped brutally when he saw Cas standing before him.

Sam stared quite stupidly at the older boy. And if Dean were here, he'd die laughing and tease his brother to no end.

“Hello, Sam,” Castiel said.

Sam could only gape.

Cas never said hello directly to him. He was always grouped with Dean. And if Sam didn't know already that Cas had one of the deepest voices that literally make your – Sam's – body shiver, Sam'd be a puddle of goo right now.

“Hi... hi, Cas.” Sam stuttered. “What are you doing here?”

Castiel tilted his head on the side, confused.

“Dean told me you were there.”

“You- you came for me?” Sam asked, awe in his voice.

“Of course, why wouldn't I?”

“I thought you didn't like me very much.” Sam admitted sheepishly.

“That's not true, Sam. Who told you that? Dean?” Castiel started, frowning.

“No one. I just… you don’t really hang out when Dean’s not here.”

Sam blushed, embarrassed he said this. Castiel seemed to be frowning even harder, as if he couldn’t understand what Sam was saying.

Sam continued, “I mean, you’re Dean’s best friend, I know but… uh, I like talking to you, but you never- never stay with me.”

This was as close as admitting his crush to Cas.

Castiel’s face smoothed out, then he started to smile softly.

Sam looked at Cas, surprised.

“Cas?”

“Oh, Sam.” He said in a sigh.

Cas walked to the bed and leaned towards Sam.

“You silly, silly boy,” Cas continued as matter of fact. He seemed relieved somehow.

“Uh, ok?” Sam replied, not understanding what was happening. 

“I…” Cas started but stopped. He sighed.

“I don't know how to do that.”

“Do what?”

“Asking you out,” Cas blurted suddenly, “I mean, Dean told me to suck it up and do it because you were moping, and he was tired of seeing both his best friend and his brother making eyes at each other and-”

“Wait, what?” Sam interrupted wide-eyed. He stood to face the older boy.

Cas looked at him quizzically. Then realization struck him and his eyes widened. He started to blush slightly.

“Well, it was easier this way, then,” Cas said absentmindedly.

“Yeah.” Sam breathed. “Could you… could you ask again?”

Cas smiled – Sam's heart just made a loop in his chest – and walked closer to Sam.

“Sam Winchester, would you go out with me?”

Sam had butterflies in his stomach when he answered.

“Yes,” Sam said with a sigh.

Castiel's smile was blinding.


	4. Drug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam finds Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags: Season 9 AU (so AU it hurts), human!Cas, drug addict!Cas

“I'm sorry, Sam. I'm- I'm a mess.”

“No, Cas. You just need help. Please, come with me.”

Castiel shook his head.

“No. You are better off without me.”

“Don't say that, Cas,” Sam objected. “You're... you're one of us. You're _still_ one of us,” he added with conviction.

Cas didn’t seem to believe him as he smiled bitterly. He looked sick. He had bags under his eyes and his skin was sickly pale. Sam could see blue-green veins around Cas' eyes, his dug cheeks, and his long unkempt beard.

The ex-angel sighed.

“Don't. Sam.” He pleased. “Please, don't. Dean has been clear. I'm not welcome.”

“Why?” Sam asked, because he was seriously starting to get fed up with Dean's excuses about Cas.

Castiel frowned, “Why? Dean didn't tell you?”

When Sam shook his head, Castiel explained, wide eyes, “I'm a danger. I would put you and Dean in danger, I couldn't allow that. I _can't_ allow that. Please, Sam. Go back to Dean. I'm fine.”

Sam's throat closed from emotions. Castiel's eyes were pleading, anguish like tattooed on his face. He seemed so ready to give up, it wasn’t like him. He shouldn't be ready to give up. He should have hope, not despair. Sam couldn't allow that _either_. Cas might have enemies, so what? Sam and Dean, and even Kevin had enemies. They stuck together despite and because of it. Sam had learned long ago that being together made you stronger. He couldn't let Cas in this... dump, getting addicted to some nasty stuff, and risking dying of an overdose or whatever infection was here.

“I don't care, Cas. Right now, you're a danger to yourself, not us. Please, come with me?”

Sam didn't want to put like a question. He didn't want Cas to choose. He wouldn't bear if Cas chose a life in the streets instead of coming home with him. Sam wouldn't bear the fact that they had succeeded in driving Castiel away when he needed them the most. He didn't want Cas to have a choice. Sam just wanted to take his hand, and never let go. He just wanted to have Cas back.

“Sam...” Castiel started but Sam couldn't listen anymore to what the ex-angel was going to say.

“Cas. Hear me out. Please.”

Cas looked at him, and sighed, letting his eyes drop to the ground.

“You don't have to come live in the bunker. You could be nearby, but we stay in touch, right? And, no more drugs. That's all- that's all I ask. You keeping in touch and no drugs. Could you do that?”

Cas looked up. He worried his lip, and nodded after a few bits. As soon as he agreed, Sam sagged on himself, closed his eyes and let a relieved sigh escape his lips. The deathly grip of worry on his heart finally relented.

“Were you that worried about me?”

Sam opened his eyes and smiled lightly.

“Of course, Cas. Always.”

“Thank you,” Cas said, mirroring Sam's smile, although, smaller and weary.

“For what?” Sam asked, confused.

Cas reached out to Sam and took his hand.

“For being you, of course.”

Sam shrugged his shoulders, smiling awkwardly.

“Ah, well, thanks,” he replied, not knowing what to say.

Castiel squeezed his hand and got up.

“Let's go home then,” he said, looking at Sam.

The young man smiled brightly.


	5. Failure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam always thought Cas wouldn't return his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags: AU, Dean is a cop, Sam is at college, Ruby's also a bit here, mention of drug use and unhealthy relationship.

Sam had a problem. A very big problem. It had blue eyes and black hair and lips he wanted to kiss.

But he shouldn't want that. That was his problem. He couldn't want that if it meant betraying Dean.

The first time he met Castiel – who was his problem –, it was on a Sunday and Dean was doing a barbecue. He had inviting family friends and Bobby, their sort of surrogate father.

And Castiel. Cas. The blue-eyed angel. Sam's crush, and more importantly, Dean's savior.

You see, Dean was a police officer and one of his chase would have gone to the worst if Cas hadn't stepped in at the time he did. Dean would have died, and Sam's world would have crumbled under his feet. Cas had happened to walk by and saw what was going on. He shouted, rushed to Dean's side, and called 911. And his big brother lived.

So, when he found out that Castiel would come to the barbecue, Sam was ready to thank him profusely. Which he did. After admiring Castiel's blue eyes and black hair, and his slightly confused facial expression. Castiel seemed to accept Sam's thanks but he stayed almost all afternoon with Dean. He hardly looked at Sam and talked to him even less.

Sam had been slightly hurt – but he didn't know the guy, so he wasn't really, _really_ hurt, right? – and he asked Dean about it later.

“Well,” Dean started quite sheepishly, “if you want the truth... I might have told him about your... problems?”

He said it like a question but Sam knew it wasn't. He just wasn't sure how Sam would take it.

Sam had... Sam made mistakes – choices, would be Dean's favorite word in that case –, trusted the wrong people, and it almost didn't end well for him. He was fine now. Sam knew Dean wouldn’t fine. He wasn’t sure Dean would accept that Sam was fine. He had been the one who found him, overdosing on some drugs. He had been the one by his side during his recovery. He wasn’t sure his brother was going to forget – and forgive – that he almost Sam.

Now he understood why Castiel didn't talk to him. He might have been disgusted, or ill-at-ease, not knowing what to do or talk about. Or he might be one of those people who were afraid to drink in front of him, thinking he would be tempted.

The second time he met Castiel, it was much better. It was another barbecue but Sam was cooking the steaks this time. Somehow, that day Castiel seemed relaxed, he smiled a lot, and Sam loved it.

(this might have been at this precise moment he started to have a crush on Cas)

Cas went by the barbecue and he looked like he had forgotten that Sam was there too. He looked stricken for a few seconds, then he cleared his throat and said, “Hello, Sam,” with his low-pitched voice.

(he totally lost it there but that's a secret)

Sam smiled easily and asked, “Hey, Cas, want some steak?”

He froze as soon as the words passed his lips. _Way to go, dude,_ a little voice that sounded a lot like Dean was saying in his head. But when Castiel's lips twitched a bit, Sam knew he won the man.

(actually, he didn't know, he just assumed)

After that, their relationship was as not awkward. Cas also came by a lot more often. At first, Dean was a bit spooked but he adapted very quickly. Then, Cas and Sam started to talk, really talk. They talked about so many things, life, books, but also movies, and history, and language, and philosophy. There were so many subjects Cas knew.

Sometimes, Cas would even join him at the college library to read, and enjoy each other’s presence. Sam was sure his crush wasn't a just crush anymore. He couldn't say anything. He saw the way Dean looked at Cas, and vice versa. Since Cas has been coming more often, the two of them seemed a lot closer too.

Sam thought he had no chance.

A few weeks later, when Ruby came back, Sam didn't really think that would hurt anyone but him. He was pining after someone who would never looked at him like that. Ruby, though, she could fake it.

The woman found him at the library one day Sam was alone. She was still dark-haired, and seductive, and hot, and Sam just remembered all the times with her. There was this _longing_ deep inside of him, and he couldn't have Cas so...

It wouldn't hurt one more time, right?

Ruby hadn't changed though. When she showed the drug after sex, Sam had been tempted. He was going to reach for it when he thought, _what the fuck am I doing?_

He closed his eyes, shook his head, and _no, no, no, wrong._ He got up and left while Ruby was spitting her venom at his back.

He went home, took a shower, scrubbed, and scrubbed to scrub it all out. He wanted to forget it, to forget Ruby, to forget the drugs, to forget his _choices._ At one point, he started to cry. He felt powerless.

When Dean came home later that day, he told him everything. Saying that Dean was furious was an understatement. At one point during the fight, he stopped shouting and he stormed out, leaving Sam alone.

Sometime later, Cas arrived, worried. Dean must have called him, Sam thought.

“Sam.”

“Cas, I'm so freaking stupid. I knew she was bad news but I couldn't...”

Sam stopped, voice tight.

“Sam, that is not your fault,” Cas tried, comforting. He knelt in front of Sam, “Dean knows it.”

“No! Dean doesn't... Dean was right, I'm... I'm a failure.”

Sam felt the tears coming. He tried not to let them fall.

“Oh, Sam,” Cas whispered, hugging him without warning. Cas put his arms around Sam's neck, and Sam let his head fall on Cas's shoulder. They stayed in this position until Dean’s return. Cas hastily pulled away. Sam was hurt despite himself.

“I'm… I’m going to wait outside,” he said, looking quite uncomfortable. He left without another word. The door closed and Sam looked at Cas quizzically.

The man confusedly blushed. Sam smiled slightly. He loved seeing the man blushing.

He snorted.

Cas understood him better than anyone. But he was in love someone else.

“Sorry,” Sam blurted, “Dean must have hated it.”

“Hated what?” Cas asked, confused.

“Well, the whole, you hugging me?”

“Why would he hate it?”

Sam sighed, slightly irritated. He usually found Cas's confusion quite endearing but now, he didn't have the patience.

“You know, you and Dean,” Sam replied, waving his hands.

“Dean and me...?” Cas started and then realization seemed to strike and, “oh.”

A simple _oh_.

Oh.

Sam looked away, he didn't want Cas to see what he was feeling.

A few seconds passed and, “Sam. Sam, look at me.”

A warm hand on his cheek drew his attention toward Cas. He wasn't frowning anymore. He looked at Sam with such loving eyes that it hurt. He wished he could stop.

“Sam. Dean and I... we're friends. Nothing more.”

Sam rolled his eyes, not believing him. He wasn’t blind, he could see when two people loved each other.

“Sam,” Cas repeated, “What do I need to do to make you believe it?”

The young man looked at him. He licked his lips, and seeing Cas’s eyes flicker to the gesture gave him an idea. A stupid idea.

“Kiss me, then,” Sam dared with a smile, leaning toward the other man.

Cas pulled away _again._ Sam laughed dejectedly. Why wasn't he surprised?

“Not like that,” Cas finally said.

Sam stared at Cas wide-eyed.

“What?”

“You're angry and upset. You don't think clearly. If...”

Castiel paused as if he was looking for his words.

“When you're calmed down, we’ll talk and we’ll go from there, all right?”

“Are you... is that a yes?” Sam asked, surprised. He really wanted to know. He needed to know.

Castiel smiled.

“Go talk to your brother, and then... we'll discuss it.”

Sam nodded and smiled.

If he could get Dean to forgive him yet again, Sam knew everything was going to be all right.


End file.
